Unsaid

I feel like we were closer when you were still 750 miles away. Sometimes I wish you still were.

Every time you talk about going on a mission, I get jealous because I wish I had that much faith that it was right for me, too.

I still get mad when I think about you telling me that I just needed to get married so I could stay home to write, scrabook, and make babies. It makes the most angry because a part of me knows you are right.

I thought changing my major was the right thing, and I'd be happier. I'm more worried about my future right now than I ever have been.

Your raw talent coupled with the classes you're taking is going to make you so successful. Everything you produce is amazing. I wish you'd see just how amazing you are.

I wish you'd notice me.

I haven't written to you because I realized you'd started to see the feelings I'd been trying to make you see all along. But then I realized that I'm not sure if that's how I feel anymore.

Your new friends are pulling you away, and you're changing for them. I miss you and wish you'd come play more often.

I know you lie to me so I won't get upset, but I'm smart enough to see through them. I'll love you no matter what you tell me.

Sometimes I think you're the only one out of all of us whose not pretending. I envy that you can be "you" without inhibitions.

I'm so scared that next year you're going to forget about me and we'll never see each other.

I never believed you when you said we'd still talk. I'm glad I didn't, because we don't.

I miss not seeing you grow up, but I think it'll be easier for both of us if you never really know me.

I wish it were still last year. I wish things were the same. I want to tell you the things that are going on, the way I feel, and have you take care of me. I don't know why, but I can't.

I want you to have a good life. But mostly, I want you to be baptized when you are eight. It's because I want you to be happy, but I know it's the one thing I want for you that won't happen.

There are so many things I want to tell you. I've written them all down, and I'm just waiting for the right moment. But, I'm so scared. I'm afraid you'll think I'm silly.

My biggest fear is that I'm not going to live up to what you want me to.