can i just say that i hate phone interviews?

i hate them because i can’t see the interviewers, so they could have given up on me on my second answer and just drawn little doodles and played m.a.s.h while i answered the rest of the questions and i wouldn’t know.

i hate them because i talk really fast when i’m nervous and then when i focus on calming myself down i forget the question. and then i ramble. and then i just give up.

i hate them because i can’t even think about pulling the cute card or smiling extra big or being super exuberant and katie-like because i’m a lot of mannerisms. and really, on the phone i just sound silly and tour guide barbie-ish. 

i hate them because the rest of the day, and in this case the next few weeks, all i will do is think about every mistake i made and how everything i said was stupid. and i’ll wonder what kind of jokes they made afterwards and if they put a big red “x” on my resume and put me in the ‘no effing way in hell are we hiring her’ pile.

i hate them because they don’t get to see the way my eyes light up when i talk about my job, my ra staff, and how much i love being a cc. they don’t see that i’m nervous because i want this job so badly.