hard to please

i'm starting to think i'm hard to please. (not because things don't make me happy, because practically everything makes me flood with happiness. generally a fleeting happiness.) more because despite all of the things that have been crazy about asu and my life here lately, this week has been pretty spectacular. i love our new staff members so much and can't wait to get to know all of them better in coming weeks/months/years. facilitator training today was actually really entertaining. the big bang with my friends/coworkers was so much fun. the 4th was a blast despite being on duty and having more calls than i expected. things are falling into place for training, and honestly i think life is on the up and up.

but the things that had hurt me still hurt. i can't not think about them, talk about them, and try to make my life how it was about a month ago. i know i am looking back through rose colored glasses and that things really weren't as great as i think they were and i don't know that i was even happy then, i just think i was comfortable and dealing with less conflict. (i wish i could write it all out; the long dramatic story that involves my very personal life, work life, friendships, everything and how in a few week period everything crashed and changed. but i can't. i'm sorry).

in the fear of sounding melodramatic, i still think my heart is a little bruised. it's just going to take a while. things will get better-- this is only day 4, the next 361 are promised to be filled with good things.

(did you doubt that there'd be a weepies song attached to this post?)