in a year

my one year asu anniversary passed with little acknowledgement. ca spring training was in full swing and i was in the worst point of having mono. i spent the day sleeping, training a staff i'm working on loving, sleeping, and taking lots of pain pills so i could focus on anything other than my throat. i think i fell asleep watching parenthood and eating tomato soup.
it doesn't seem like a big deal: being in a job for a year, but in a way i feel like i've accomplished something huge in asu res life. i've seen a lot of people come and go either just before the end of or at the cusp of their first year. it's sad to say that the department of people i began working with a year ago has almost completely changed. it will change again this summer. if i make it two years, i will be a veteran. and crazy.
the past year has been a year of challenge. i learned that it takes much more than 'a little faith and a lot of heart' to make it in res life at a large university. the same skills that made me successful at suu are not making me successful here. i'm constantly having to reevaluate who i am as a supervisor and how much energy i can give my job before burning out. i hate that i have to sacrifice the things i love about my job to do all the have-to-dos everyday. i'm a different person than i was a year ago and i'm not always sure that i like who i've become.
i had my first experience with student death this semester. never have i felt pain like i felt for my community and student leaders as we searched, waited, and prayed for a missing member of our community. after two weeks of wondering, when his body was recovered, i felt the combined relief and  devastation of a whole community of students who had lost a friend and neighbor. with the new semester, i wish it were just a bad dream. but his room is still clawed shut, i'm still meeting with residents struggling with their emotions, and i'm still trying to figure out how to ever bandage an entire community after a wound like this one.

good things happened this year, too. i had family come to visit me in march, and i got to go home for a few days in june. i went to disneyland with new friends in may and again with my mom in september. i got to go to aimho-- our regional housing conference--in montana. i came home completely in love with the idea of working in res life for the rest of my life. when things get tough, i try to remember what that was like and tell myself that this position is getting me to a happiness like that someday. i spent christmas with my family and new years on duty--sick with what i would learn is mono. i ended the year with my first new year's kiss. overall, it's been a good year.