going home

today was a long day. i helped interview rha executive board applicants for the majority of my day. i'm about interviewed out, but there's still more to do in the coming weeks. it's just that time of year at university housing.
i wasn't in my office all day, so i was checking my work email on my iphone between interviews and trying to respond to emails that way. i had a few things to take to my office and i needed to print something for one of my ras, so i ended up in my office at 10:30 tonight. i love working late at night. there's something about being in my office with the blinds shut that makes me accomplish more in half an hour than i sometimes do in an entire morning. tonight was like that. i printed fliers for an upcoming program, sent out a handful of emails, organized some paperwork, and cleared my voicemail before leaving. 
the ra mailboxes are in the programming resource center. the prc is in juniper hall and i work/live in cedar hall, so i had a little bit of a snowy walk to put the fliers in the ra box. juniper is home-- as long as juniper hall remains, it will be my home. it's where i grew up, found my passion, experienced the best and most difficult moments of my life. a part of my heart is there, and sometimes going back still hurts a little. 
the prc is located right next to the c100 lobby entrance. c100 was my home for my sophomore year-- the year that i started my journey with university housing as the rha vp, half-way through. c100 is also where i was an ra last semester before becoming the cedar hall community coordinator--also half way through. hence, jc1 means a lot to me. tonight, when i walked out of the prc to go "home" i found myself instinctively turning right to the c100 door that i decorated in early january-- even though i knew i'd be leaving in just a few weeks. i wanted to walk down that hall-- see the familiar decorations, doors, names, and faces and arrive back at "my" room. that shoebox of a juni room that once held my world. 
but, i can't go back. the floor belongs to someone else now. even though it looks the same, i know it wouldn't feel the same. it's not mine anymore. so, instead of turning right, i went left and out the doors of juniper back across the street to the cedar hall apartment that's slowly becoming my home, too. i think knowing that this is right is what makes it so sad sometimes.