rain

it rained today in tempe. the storm caught me by surprise and i watched giant rain drops fall hard and fast outside my office window. after losing patience i walked home, getting soaked in the process. for a couple hours, it poured and i listened to the drip, drip, drip outside my apartment. the rain makes me sad, and tonight i came home to be by myself when really i just wanted to talk to someone who has known me for years. the friends i have here know the me i choose to show them. they get glimpses into my past as i filter them. but sometimes i just want to eat a whole carton of ben and jerry's while watching a sappy chick flick or drive around town with a cup of 'maverick crack' while we talk about the most ridiculous to the most philosophical. i miss that life. and i miss my best friends.

tonight in the rain-induced reverie, i thought about juniper. how that building is currently occupied with nothing but memories from  thousands of students of a few decades. when i think about my college experience, i don't often think about my freshman year anymore. that year was, sadly, not the one that molded me the most. but, tonight i just wish for a moment i could go back to that little room on a300 with white walls and green carpet and sit with my best friends. i got my first kiss in that room. i took hundreds of silly pictures with my bff while lying on the floor. i fought with my roommate. i wrote papers, short stories, and poems that started me on my major. i cried for hours on end wanting to quit and go home. i slept across the room from a half naked poster of david beckham. i learned the only way to survived was to open my door and my heart. what that lead to has been incredible.

so, tonight 3 hours ahead of me in ohio my bff is alone in a little apartment, too. our journeys are parallel but most of the time i wish the distance were shorter. i can't see myself near ohio anytime soon, but i can't see her here either. i doubt that either of us will ever return to utah. we don't talk like we should, but little packages that find their way here or there, texts, tweets, and facebook messages keep us connected. funny how we talk now the same way we did when we were down the hall, across the street, or on the other side of town. did i ever think we'd never be that close?

today the truth is simple. if i could have had any one thing, it would be to have been to be back in to that juni room for just a moment. back to one of those days that i didn't realize just how lucky i was just to have all the friends i need at an arm's length.