I'm not going to lie, I'm really nervous for training. But I'm really excited, too -- I mean, I get to get to know the other staff members and learn so much about being an RA, it's going to be great! It's just natural for me to be both really excited and really nervous about everything in life.
I've been doing my fair share of research to get me ready for this job. I've been reading articles about being a resident assistant ever since I applied for the job. I even found this cute "RA Alphabet" and I'm going to scrapbook a mini album so I have it to reference throughout the year. Today, I was thinking about how nervous I was to move away from home for the first time. Two years ago, I was preparing for high school graduation. College had always been in my plans, but all of a sudden it was the next step, and I wasn't ready for it. Or so I thought. I spent the summer worrying about everything an 18 year old girl could possibly worry about. Lucky for me, I wrote them all down in my journal. I used these old journal entries to compile a list of what I had been the most afraid of. I think that knowing who I was at that stage in my life will help me to understand my residents a little, too.
1. Being Homesick. I wrote endlessly about how scared I was to move away from my family. I was scared of being alone, and not having a loving family to take care of me. Truthfully, this was the hardest thing for me to get through. 2. Not Making Friends. "What if people don't like me?" In high school, I had known my friends the majority of my life. I was constantly afraid that I wouldn't be able to find new friends. In reality, I had a whole floor of friends in the first few hours of my college life, I just didn't recognize it immediately.
3. Public Showers. My friend was in the MTC getting ready to leave on her mission, and I remember writing to her and telling her how afraid I was to live in Juniper because of showers. I remember trying to figure out how to take all of my clothes in a bag into the shower with me without getting them wet. It was only awkward for the first few times. Some of my best college memories are of "shower parties" with my friends.
4. Having A Roommate. I am an only child (well, I now have 2 half brothers, but I have never lived with them). I've never shared a bedroom or a bathroom for that matter. I was looking forward to meeting my new roommate, but I was scared that we wouldn't get along. Remember those Dell Computer commercials with the preppy girl and the gothic girl as roommates? Yeah, that was pretty much my biggest fear (and I don't use a Dell, so that connection was out). Initially, I didn't get along with my roommate, but I was able to move and the girl I moved in with turned out to be one of my best friends. I get along fine with my first roommate now, too.
5. Failing Classes. I have always been paranoid about not doing well in my classes. In high school, I always did really well despite my fears, but I didn't know how my college classes would compare. I had talked my advisor into letting me take a pretty rigorous schedule my first semester, and it was starting to worry me. I was afraid of what people would think if I didn't do well, and I was afraid of losing my scholarship. I had to learn that doing my best didn't always mean A grades.
6. Balancing School and Life. I wanted to have friends and be involved, but my journal entries talked mostly about how I was going to graduate in 3 years and how quickly I would accomplish everything. There was little talk of extracurricular activities or dates. This is something that I still struggle with, I am still learning what it means to balance my life.
I know that as I continue to reflect about a summer two years ago, I'll be able to remember even more small things. It seems like it was so long ago-- I'm such a different person now-- but it really wasn't that long ago. I really need to remember these feelings, but more importantly, what helped me take care of them.
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